Emma MacGuyver ([info]helbling) wrote,
@ 2009-06-25 18:25:00
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Day from hell.
Not over yet.

Quick, tell me stuff to cheer me up?

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[info]pujaemuss
2009-06-25 05:53 pm UTC (link)
Hamlet as told by Facebook.

Creative puns for educated people

1. The roundest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference. He
acquired his size from too much pi.

2. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to
be an optical Aleutian .

3. She was only a whisky maker, but he loved her still.

4. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class because it was a
weapon of math disruption.

5. The butcher backed into the meat grinder and got a little behind in his
work.

6. No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.

7. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.

8. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum
Blownapart.

9. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.

10. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

11. A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking
into it.

12. Atheism -is a non-prophet organization.

13. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. --One hat said to
the other, 'You stay here, I'll go on a head.'

14. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then, it hit me.

15. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said, 'Keep off the Grass.'

16. A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital. His
grandmother telephoned to ask how he was, a nurse said, 'No Change
yet.'

17. A chicken crossing the road - is poultry in motion.

18. The short fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at
large.

19. The man who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned
veteran.

20. A backward poet - writes inverse.

21. In democracy, it's your vote that counts. In feudalism, it's your count
that votes.

22. When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion.

23. Don't join dangerous cults: - Practice safe sects!

PJW

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